Sometimes I fantasize about what I would do if I had millions of dollars coming to me out of clear blue sky, and if I didn't have to work. What would I do?
Yes, yes, I would take some time to travel, take a couple of cruises and visit some exotic places I have never seen; swim with dolphins in Hawaii. I would rent the 'Stalbet al ha Maiym' funky spa at the Dolphin Reef on the Coral Beach in Eilat, Israel, for the whole day, for my family and friends. Then buy the houses and the cars, the trinkets and then what?
Clear the debts; help my loved ones, family and friends. Give to charity and support my favourite causes. Then invest so my money will make even more money. Then what?
I wake up in the morning, and I have my dream life. I don't have to lift a finger, and it all comes to me easily. I can spend the day on the beach, and in the beauty salon. Then what?
Then I would get bored to tears.
Even when I travel, I feel compelled to do something significant for others. There is an alarm system inside my head that goes off every time I hear someone encountering a psychological, life or spiritual challenge. The fixer in me has a pop-up feature. It pops-up and makes me want to fix. I do this at the parties, in the bus, and on the plane. I do this all the time.
Two years and a half ago, I was visiting Israel and Romania. On my way back from visiting my parents in Bucharest, Romania, on the plane, I was sitting behind to elderly ladies who seemed unusually anxious. "Is there a buzzer we can ring for someone to come in case anything happens?" one of them asked a male flight-attendant. "In case anything happens" rang a bell in my ears, as I recognized fear in this woman's voice. The flight attendant gave the ladies a reassuring instruction which didn't seem to lift the anxiety I was reading on their face and in their voice.
I tapped the ladies on their shoulders. They turned back. The plane was still waiting to take off. "Excuse me, I overheard your conversation; have you flown before?"
"No", they replied in one voice, confirming my suspicions. "This is our first time we fly."
"May I offer you a tool, something to put you at ease with the flight?"
"Oh, yes, please!" replied the two ladies, hopeful for relief.
I did a round of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) with them, addressing the fear of flight, and the whole web of related fears they had around flying. The worst one was the fear of an air crash, of dying. We tapped on acupuncture points and cleared that too. Then the plane took off, and I proceeded to do my favourite thing while in the air: snoozing.
Two hours and a bit later, at the Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv, the two ladies fastened their pace to catch up with me, as I was heading to retrieve my suitcases. "Hello! Hello!" they called. I turned around and they came all over me, hugging me and kissing me, profusely thanking me for what I did with them. Apparently they had a peaceful and enjoyable flight. They were grateful. They were hoping I would look them up when I traveled to their town. I had made their day. And they made mine.
I cannot compare the joy of contributing to other people's life with anything else joyful that I know. Being able to touch people's lives in way that transforms them is priceless and makes my heart sing.
Sometimes, in cold Canadian winter days and nights, another fantasy pops up in my mind. You see, I have no dependents, apart from my dog. I could live anywhere I want in the world. And so, at times, I dream about going somewhere warm, stay in a hotel, eat in the hotel's restaurant, and open a "Tana's Healing Hut" business on the beach. Have a massage table, a rustic little hut around it, and give hands-on healing to the tourists the whole day. Go for a swim in my lunch hour. Go dance after hours. No worries. No digging in the people's subconscious to find deep, dark demons to take by the horns. Just nicey-nicey feel-good therapy. Tourists are there to have fun. They don't want transformation. They want to feel good. I can give them soothing, feel-good hands-on 'pootzileh-mootzileh' therapy.
Oh, dear Heavens, how soon before I'd get bored to tears again?
I am not so sure my purpose in life is to just 'feel good'. I don't think my purpose in life is to feel any specific way. I think I am here to live authentically and express my true nature, which is mine to realize. And I think I am here to grow, to evolve, and in the same time, to contribute to the growth, to the evolution of others, of the world that I am part of. How do I know? Because I feel this pull. Because even the thought of living without growth and contribution bores me to tears.
Because what makes me thrive and radiate with joy, more than dancing or a day on the beach, is enriching Life, and meaningfully contributing to Life: mine, yours, others'.
Don't get me wrong: I still would like to cruise and visit Hawaii. But don't be surprised if you find me on the beach, getting someone to tap on acupuncture points for an hour or two!