Coloured portrait

Coloured portrait

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Victim to Hero - Life After Adversity and Trauma

There's been generational trauma - my maternal grandfather died for being a Jew, and so did my mother's brother when he was 17. My mother grew up in fear, had panic attacks - undiagnosed at that time, and became mentally ill when I was pre-teen. Dad was depressed, undiagnosed and untreated. I lived in fear, some of it felt from my parents as being sensitive, some of it my own, fear of the dictatorial regime I lived in. I immigrated on my own to a new country, language, climate and culture, all a shock to me. My couple relationships have been rocky - my good fortune and sustenance being my enduring friendships with great people. I went through a war and feared for my life every day that it lasted. My jobs were making me unhappy, I hated office politics, and I endured through painful long hours until I quit to become a healer. Being self-employed required a new set of skill building, and has been filled with uncertainty, so more stress, even though passionate about my work now. Then I immigrated again to a new country, climate and culture to be married, another rocky relationship, this time without a network of support, family, friends or money. Marriage was followed by another move, more stress, loss of my father and stepmother, loss of my dog, and - the cherry on the cake - a head concussion just a year ago.

If I competed for the Victim Olympics, I'd win Gold. But that's not my game.

My game is to do life at my best with what's left, wounds and strengths. My wounds are my strengths, because now I have stories to tell. If I never left my living room, I'd be mute. But I've seen the world, overcame seemingly impossible shit, learned deep lessons, built some serious skills, for life and for service, and I'm still marching on. 

After all that I went through, here I am, writing daily, laughing out loud at silly stuff, dancing, singing, drawing, connecting with people, leading personal development programs, volunteering, taking good care of myself, and assisting the people I work with in private coaching sessions. 

I'm telling you all this for two reasons:

1- I like to talk. A lot. I'm an outgoing extrovert, so deal with it! 🤪

2- I want to show you - not just to tell you - that there is life after adversity, that trauma can be healed, that no matter what happened to you, you don't have to live as a helpless victim, but you can turn your greatest pain into strengths, that seeing yourself as Victim or as Hero is a choice, that with help from friends, healers, coaches, mentors and teachers you can recover and you can thrive. 

I want to show you that all things considered, I am doing very well, and so can you. 

May you thrive beyond what you've ever hoped possible, in spite of everything, and thanks to everything!

Hugs xo

Tana

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