Identity is only problematic as long as it's based on the philosophy of separation. As long as there is a self and an other, you'll run into problems. Transcendence is going beyond the sole identification with a separate self, and relinquishing identity into the spirit, or the Ground of Being.
This is where the fun begins.
Or more precisely, this is where suffering ends.
If you see yourself as being at one with the all, with no separation, all the anguish or better or lesser, judgment and criticism, blaming, shaming and complaining fly out the window. Even the "Law of Attraction" becomes irrelevant: you can only attract something or someone that is separate from you; but if you are at one with all that is, nothing is outside or separate from who you truly are. So - no attraction, no repulsion.
The separate self doesn't disappear, but remains as one perspective of the gazillion perspectives of the real Self. The separate self will still do its thing: seeking survival and reproduction, fulfillment of its needs and all the antics that come with it. The selfless part of transcendence is service: living life out of love, seeking the betterment of all beings (well, beginning with one's sphere of influence). The selfish part is, the separate self still eats, sleeps, has sex, plays with the dog, dances and drinks tea.
The separate self will jump on the occasion of hijacking the infinite self for its own fulfillment - that's not to transcend the ego, but to strengthen it. I personally am not so enlightened to have escaped this self-serving predicament. However, you can be selfish and selfless if you seek win-win fulfillment, if your own meeting of needs is also benefiting others and the all.
For example, to 'manifest' something you (the separate self) want (the Infinite Self doesn't have wants or needs), think of the essence of your need or desire. Make a mental exercise where you see yourself as pure consciousness or the all-that-is, and as such, in order to experience anything, all you have to do is to express it.
Express that which you want to experience.
This is the mother of all secrets, hidden in plain daylight. And this post is public.
So, want to experience generosity? Great: express it. Give it. Want to experience consideration? Grant it. Want to experience loving presence? Offer it. Want to experience appreciation? Appreciate everything beautiful, good and true in yourself, in others, and in the world. You want people to grant you support, cheer your successes and wish you well? Great: grant support, cheer others' successes, and wish people (and all beings) well.
This is the wisdom behind the Metta practice "May all beings be happy, be peaceful, and be free". This is the wisdom behind the Blessings I share with you now and then.
No entitlement, no victimization, no struggle, no wars, no blaming, no shaming, no accusations, no unfairness.
You want it? You give it.
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